Some 1886 Charleston Earthquake History

eq - book coverThe following pages are taken from A Descriptive Narrative of the Earthquake of August 31, 1886 by Carl McKinley for the Charleston City Year Book 1887. 

Specifically, these pages report the effects of the earthquake around the state of south Carolina. The epicenter was 20 miles north of Charleston, but the quake was felt across the east coast north to Chicago and south to Miami.

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People fleeing the earthquake’s destruction on the night of Aug. 31, 1886. Image from Harper’s Week

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Church Street damage: Dock Street Theater (left); St. Philip’s Church (center); French Huguenot Church (right)

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Broad Street … 27 Broad Street with crumbled facade

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Hayne Street (looking east from Meeting Street)

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St. Michael’s Church and City Guard House

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Food lines, from Harper’s Weekly

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Washington Square became a refugee camp for hundreds of residents whose home were destroyed. 

 

 

Vicious – A Review

Seventy-two chapters for 366 pages … welcome to the James Patterson school of writing. And half the chapters are flashbacks! So this short novel (novella? Novelette?) that should have lots of narrative momentum, loses its propulsion because every other chapter is a flashback which completely destroys the story’s forward progression.

viciousThe story: Two college roommates figure out how to give people superpowers – they are called ExtraOrdinarys, or EOs. The process involves dying, being resurrected, and viola! You’re an EO! They naturally begin with themselves, however, superpowers do not make a person superhero.  As these two morally ambiguous characters become rivals things become deadly.

I was not surprised to discover that the author, V.E. Shwab, had written several YA novels, because Vicious IS a YA novel, yet marketed toward adults. The story is flimsy – a direct knock-off from X-Men – and the character development is James Patterson-worthy.

The number of authors I respect and enjoy reading that have given Vicious rave reviews makes me suspicious … a suspect a tit-for-tat among them. Most likely they share a publisher.

All in all, it’s pretty juvenile.

SKINK: NO SURRENDER – A Review

The price with being consistently good is the raising of expectations. Carl Hiassen has written 22 excellent novels since 1981, so at some point he had to write a novel that doesn’t meet his usual high bar. Skink: No Surrender is that book. With a plot that moves at the pace of a molasses glacier, and with main characters that make one dumb decision after the other, it was a Herculean chore to turn the pages.

Hias_9780375870514_jkt_all_r1.inddThe basic story: Fourteen-year old Malley is being sent away to a boarding school in the cold climes of the Northeast, away from her home in sunny Florida. And since Malley “doesn’t do” cold weather, she decides to run away with a guy she meets online. Disappears without a trace. Her best friend, her cousin Richard, decides to track her down. However, he is also only 14, so where does he even begin?

Enter Skink, one of Hiassen’s greatest fictional characters. The eccentric (a mild description) 72 year former governor of Florida turned eco-warrior, first appeared in 1987’s Double Whammy (and five other Hiassen novels). Richard runs across Skink on the beach, who agrees to help Richard track down Malley.

The worst thing about Skink: No Surrender, other than its tepid pace, is that in writing for a teen crowd, Hiassen decided to replace his typical sharp and wacky humor with a dumbed-down hipster, all-too-cool attitude – think the worst of modern day SNL or the glut of humorless Hollywood “comedy” films featuring Will Farrell-Melissa McCarthy-Adam Sandler, et all.  

It’s also a crime what Hiassen has done to the character of Skink. In Hiassen’s adult novels Skink is a complex, charismatic and fascinating character, always the most interesting person in each scene.  However, in the new teen book, Skink has been watered down so much, he feels like a character in an Adam Sandler movie – a shallow caricature.

There is also an uncomfortable subtle message that underlays the entire book. The stranger Malley met online is a scuzzy lunatic bad guy, but the stranger Richard meets on the beach, Skink, is a scuzzy lunatic good guy. So is Hiassen saying that it’s bad for a female kid to run away with a stranger, but okay for a male kid to do so?

Avoid this book, and read Hiassen’s other novels, in particular the five novels that feature Skink – Double Whammy, Native Tongue, Stormy Weather, Sick Puppy, Skinny Dip and Star Island.  

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What You Want Is In The Limo (a Review)

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Michael Walker has captured the exuberant excess that defined rock and rock decadence of the 1970s.  He makes the argument that 1973 was the year that these excesses completely overcame and destroyed the  ’60s peace/love era once and for all.

To illustrate this, Walker examines the 1973 big budget tours of three powerhouse bands: Alice Cooper, Led Zeppelin and the Who. All three came out with albums in 1973 that were watershed moments in their careers. 

  • Billion Dollar Babies  launched Alice Cooper into the status of superstars and their subsequent tour changed live rock and roll forever.  
  • Led Zeppelin cemented their throne as the world’s greatest band while capturing America while supporting their new LP, Houses of the Holy.  
  • The Who was touring to support Pete Townshend’s ambitious Quadrophenia album/rock opera to mixed results.

So many of rock and roll’s touring stereotypes have their roots from those three tours – trashing of hotel rooms, back stage sex /drug parties, chartered jets, massive, elaborate stage shows, strong-arm tactics by managers versus promoters. Pete Townsend and Roger Daltry coming to blows backstage over the set list, Alice Cooper drinking a case of beer (American only, please) every day, followed by two bottles of Seagram’s VO each evening, Led Zeppelin’s ravaging of hundreds of under-aged girls across America … 

Other than Walker’s tendency to namedrop a bit too often, this is an immensely enjoyable read. It gives you a front row seat of the debauchery – backstage, on the plane and the bus, and in the hotel rooms.

My favorite tidbit concerns Glenn Buxton (guitar player for Alice Cooper). The 1973 tour ended the band – seventy dates in 90 days – while Cooper himself continued on as a solo artist. Buxton, the creator of the opening riff of Cooper’s massive hit, “School’s Out,” died in 1997 and his headstone contains a musical bar on which the guitar riff is engraved. A fitting memorial for a musician. 

buxton headstone   

A Crime To Remember, Season 3, Episode 1: “Lock Your Daughters


I was happy to be featured in an episode of Investigation Discovery channel’s A Crime To Remember show for the 2015 season. The season opening episode covered the Leroy Martin case from Gaffney, SC in 1968. Martin raped and murdered four women in the small town, creating an atmosphere of fear, dread and racial tension. The story was part of my 2007 book, Palmetto Predators: Monsters Among Us. 

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First American Public Orphan House

Chapter 23 of Charleston Firsts

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When the city of Charleston was incorporated in 1783, the Act of the Legislature also charged the city with the care of providing for the poor and educating and maintaining the poor orphan children. And those of poor and disabled parents who are unable to support them.

This shifted the responsibility for these children from the traditional support by the Anglican (English) churches to the city itself.

On October 28, 1790, a Board of Commissioners met to establish rules for the operation of an Orphan House. The original nine commissioners were:

  • John Mitchell
  • John Robertson
  • Richard Cole
  • Thomas Corbett
  • Charles Lining
  • William Marshall
  • Thomas Jones
  • Samuel Beckman
  • Arnoldus Vanderhorst (Indendent/Mayor) of Charleston

The Board was concerned about the expense of providing for the poor children and investigated ways in which to curtail costs. They followed the example of Bethesda Home for Boys in Savannah, a private orphan house established by evangelist George Whitefield in 1740. Consolidating the care of poor children into one facility would mitigate expenses. Older children could be bound out as apprentices with the expense of their care provided by their master.  Girls were trained for domestic service, and boys for trade skills such as blacksmithing, carpentry, saddle-making, and printing.

Until a facility could be constructed, the Board’s most immediate task was to establish a location to house the children, who at this time, were scattered in various homes across the city. Mrs. Elizabeth Pinckney offered a building on Market Street for children too young to be bound out. However, the location of the building in the unsavory waterfront district, limited its appeal to the Board, and it was looked upon as only a temporary solution. Until the construction of a permanent building in 1794, the Orphan House operated out of several buildings.

Philip Besselleu was hired as a teacher. The goal was to teach basic skills (reading, writing and numbers) to all children. Boys over eight who showed academic skill lived with Mr. Besselleu and were given more strenuous instruction.  Sarah Bricken, “a woman of good capacity and character” was hired as the first matron, who was to instruct the girls in sewing and cooking skills. Mr. Vanderhorst provided two slaves (1 male and 1 female) to work in the kitchen. They were to provide the children a decent breakfast (hominy and molasses or mush and butter) and other meals (beef or pork with rice or bread.)

The Board met every Thursday and established a 160-year tradition of a “Commissioner of the Week,” rotated among the different members. The Weekly Commissioner was charged with visiting the Orphan House, seeing each child, receiving applications, conducting the Sunday Morning service and reporting his findings to the Board.

On Saturday, May 7, 1791 President George Washington visited the Market Street orphan building, at which there were 107 boys and girls. The President commented that he was impressed with the management of the house.

In 1791, the commissioners estimated the cost for the new building would be £2200. They organized several fund-raising ventures to pay for a new building and operating costs. Local clergy were invited to preach “charity sermons at their respective churches” after which a collection would be taken for the Orphan House. A total of £632 was raised in this manner. By September 1793, total donations from churches, fraternal societies and other groups had reached over £1800.

Thomas Bennett, a local merchant-builder-architect, was given the commission to construct the new Charleston Orphan House on a site at the corner of Calhoun and St. Philip Streets. The four story brick House was the largest structure in the city. It consisted of a center building, 40 by 40 feet, plus two wings 65 by 30 feet each with a cupola on the roof. Boys were to be housed in the East Wing and girls in the West. With only one major renovation, the Orphan House served its purpose for the next 150 years.

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Detail From C. Drie’s Birdseye View of the City of Charleston, South Carolina, 1872. The Orphan House (15) faces Calhoun Street. St. Matthews Lutheran Church (41) faces King Street. Behind St. Matthews, the small building on the right, facing Vanderhorst Street, is the Orphan House Chapel. Library of Congress Geography and Map Division.

On October 18, 1794, the Orphan House opened to 115 children. The opening crowd was so large that it would not fit inside the main building of the Orphan House. The ceremony was conducted twice, once inside the building and a second time on the street for the overflow crowd. Thirteen hundred dollars was raised during the ceremonies. An eight-foot high wall was built around the House’s grounds shortly after, financed by a lottery.

The first steward (resident manager) was John Wedderspoon. There were four nurses employed: a Mrs. McConnell, Elizabeth Griffiths, Ann McDowell and Mary Brooks. Most of the rest of the work force consisted of slaves. By the early 1800s the House owned ten slaves and nine more had been donated by benefactors.

The Commissioners also created a Board of Lady Visitors to oversee the Matron and nurses. The “Lady Visitors” were required to be “respectable females” – mostly the wives or female relatives of the Commissioners.

In 1802 a chapel, designed and built by local gentleman architect, Gabriel Manigault, was constructed on the grounds behind the House. Local protestant ministers took turns conducting services every Sunday afternoon. Reverend Richard Furman, of Charleston’s First Baptist Church, preached the sermon on the opening day, September 19.

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Orphan House Chapel on Vanderhorst Street. Orphan House cupola is visible in the left background. Library of Congress

During the 1817 fiscal year, the city spent ten per cent of its budget on the Orphan House, about $20,000. It was also supported by private funds and charities, which donated money and food. The Charleston Theater performed an annual benefit performance for the House. Mr. Frederick Kohne, a successful merchant left a bequest of $60,000 and two houses, including a mansion at 91 East Bay Street. Charleston City Council established an endowment for the Orphan House and the Trustees of the Orphan House Funds to manage the endowment. By 1855 the endowment held $64,460, yielding a 7 per cent return.

In 1808 the Orphan House was given a most unusual gift – the statue of William Pitt (see #13), where it remained on the grounds until 1881.

The most commonly cited reason for admission to the Orphan House was poverty. Many of the children were “half orphans,” with a single parent who lacked the financial means to rear and support them. The situation of Mrs. Ann Duncan was typical. In her application Mrs. Duncan wrote:

My husband died on the 18th October 1817 & from his long infirmity expended all his funds & has left me with two children without anything to support us. Necessity compels me to request that you will assist me by taking under your care my daughter Catherine. She is 11 years old.

Over half the children in the House were bound over by their mothers, 11 per cent by their fathers, and about 30 per cent were bound by public officials, such as wardens of the Poor House.

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Detail From C. Drie’s Birdseye View of the City of Charleston, South Carolina, 1872. The Orphan House (15) faces Calhoun Street. St. Matthews Lutheran Church (41) faces King Street. Behind St. Matthews, the small building on the right, facing Vanderhorst Street, is the Orphan House Chapel. Library of Congress Geography and Map Division.

The daily routine for the children was regimented. Boys spent six hours in school, six days a week, 51 weeks of the year. They also spent two and a half hours in private study, one hour and five minutes in washing and dressing and fifty minutes in devotions. The girls were taught writing and arithmetic three hours a day, and then spent three hours and fifty minutes daily in the sewing room and dealing with “household duties.”

In 1854, twenty-three year old Miss Agnes K. Irving became Principal of the school. She was trained in the Lancasterian system of education, named after its creator, Joseph Lancaster, which stressed older children teaching the younger. Although the Lancasterian system never became popular in America, it was used at the Orphan House until the 1920s.

Conditions in the House were basic and often lacking. The boys slept on the floor in “two leaky bedrooms … with only two windows” and the girls shared four bedrooms that were “drenched with water when it rained.” Sick children were found to “lie scattered throughout the House in the apartment in which they are taken sick.” Since there was little money for candles or lamps, after sunset the Orphan House was cloaked in darkness.

In 1853, a major renovation of the Orphan House was approved. There was pressure on the Commissioners to accept more children so the Orphan House was expanded to allow twice the capacity. Local architects Jones and Lee designed plans for the expansion.

During the Civil War, the Orphan House was visited by Gen. P.G.T. Beauregard who discussed with the Commissioners the possibility that the children may need to be evacuated from the city. At the onset of the Federal bombardment of Charleston in August 1863, the Commissioners realized that removing the children from the city was imperative. A Mr. Legare owned a former ladies seminary one hundred miles north in the town of Orangeburg, South Carolina and offered it for $19,000. George A. Trenholm, a Commissioner and one of the wealthiest men in the South, purchased the building for the Orphan House and the children were moved. When Sherman’s troops marched through Orangeburg in early 1865, they spared the seminary building, but sacked the rest of the town. The orphans returned to Charleston at the end of the War.

One of the most distinguished alumni of the Orphan House was Christopher Gustavus Memminger. Admitted at age four as a full orphan he was quickly observed to be “a great native genius, particularly in mathematics.”

In October 1813 the nine-year old Memminger was given the honor of addressing the crowd at the celebration of the Orphan House’s anniversary ceremony. Thomas Bennett, Jr., son of the Orphan House designer and builder, was impressed with the young lad and informally adopted Memminger and brought him to live in his home in an atmosphere of refinement.

At age twelve, Bennett sponsored Memminger at South Carolina College (the forerunner of the University of South Carolina). Although he was the youngest student at the College, Memminger was singled out for academic excellence. After graduation he returned to Charleston and joined the law office of Joseph Bennett, his benefactor’s brother.

Memminger served on the Board of Commissoners at the Orphan House most of his life. He was later elected to the state legislature and as chairman on the Committee of Education, he reformed South Carolina’s public school system. For most of his life, he was a passionate proponent of public education. He also served as chairman of the Committee of Finance.

After South Carolina’s secession from the Union in 1860, Memminger was appointed head of a committee to compose The Declaration of the Immediate Causes Which Induce and Justify the Secession of South Carolina from the Federal Union to explain its reasons for seceding. The declaration stated the primary reasoning behind secession was the “increasing hostility on the part of the non-slaveholding States to the Institution of Slavery.”

At the beginning of the war President Jefferson Davis appointed Memminger secretary of the Confederate Treasury, one of the most thankless tasks of the new government. Since the Northern blockade prevented the exportation of cotton, the South’s principal economic resource, Memminger developed Treasury policies that proved ineffective against the problems of the Southern states during a four-year war. The Southern economy collapsed and, realizing his job was hopeless, Memminger resigned from office in June 1864.

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Christopher Memminger. National Archives

Memminger took refuge in Flat Rock, N.C., where his summer home had become a wartime haven for friends and relatives.  In 1867 he was fully pardoned by President Andrew Johnson, and all of his privileges of citizenship were restored. He returned to Charleston and served in the South Carolina legislature where he endeavored to recover the lost credit of the state and resumed work to improve the South Carolina public school system for whites and blacks.

In 1945 Memminger’s Flat Rock home was purchased by Carl Sandburg where the famous poet lived and worked until he died twenty-two years later. In 1969 the home became a National Historic Landmark.

After the War, the Board of Commissioners included some of the prominent men in Charleston, including two wealthy blockade runners, George A. Trenholm and George W. Williams, who became known as the House’s “guardian angel.” Other members included Christopher Memminger, William C. Bee, Henry A. DeSaussure, Dr. James Moultrie and Dr. Benjamin Huger.

Their service was needed; the years after the War and Reconstruction were some of the most difficult in the Home’s history. Charleston was thrown into an economic malaise. Hundreds of children were served, with a peak enrollment of 334 immediately after the War. In 1870, the children were honored by a visit by General Robert E. Lee, who spent a few days in Charleston. The 1886 earthquake damaged the House to the point where the children were forced to live in tents on the grounds for a period while repairs were underway.

Also during this time, an urgent situation developed among a significant portion of the orphaned children in Charleston. Despite its nine decade history of care for white children, it had done little for the African children. Of course, before Emancipation, African children were considered property and most whites completely ignored the suffering of the blacks living under their own roofs. After the War however, hundreds of abandoned black children were living on the streets of Charleston.

Sarah Grimké, who left Charleston as a young woman and became a famous abolitionist in the 1830s, pointed out the double standard among the Charleston white elites. Grimké, who was hated throughout the South as a “traitor” praised the city for providing charity to the white poor, but criticized that they were blind to the fact their wealth and charity was only possible due to a culture based on oppressed slave labor.

The city’s first black orphanage was organized in 1891, the Orphan Aid Society, by a black Baptist minister, Rev. Daniel Jenkins. The Jenkins Orphanage, as it came to be known, was never financially supported by the city the way the Orphan House was. (Read the author’s 2013 book Doin’ the Charleston: Black Roots of American Popular Music & the Jenkins Orphanage Legacy.)

By the turn of 20th century, the practice of “binding out” children declined across America during this time and the school expanded their curriculum by adding algebra, typewriting and bookkeeping. The House also boasted one of the best libraries in South Carolina, with more than 5600 books and 1000 pamphlets.

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Charleston Orphan Hose before its demolition in 1953. Library of Congress

In 1904 the House received a financial windfall when Andrew Buist Murray, an alumnus, donated $100,000 in honor of his father-in-law, W. Jefferson Bennett. In 1909 President William Howard Taft visited the House and addressed the children, urging them to become productive citizens.

By the 1920s the Home had an endowment of $600,000, the interest of which supplied 40 per cent of its annual budget, the rest being paid by the city and the Duke Endowment. During the 1930s structural repairs to the Home were provided by the Works Progress Administration, including a new roof, a new heating system, and painting the entire structure.

In the years after World War II the Board appointed a Committee to study the mission of the House in the post-War era.  They also encouraged a study of the Home by the Child Welfare League of America. The most important recommendation of the Committee and League was the relocation of the Orphan House outside the city for economic reasons.

In 1951 the Commissioners of the Orphan House purchased thirty-seven acres in North Charleston, known as Oak Grove Plantation, to relocate the children to a more home-like setting. On August 29, 1951 seventy-three children left the Orphan House for the last time and moved to Oak Grove.

The Orphan House building on Calhoun Street was sold to Sears Roebuck and Company for $350,000. Against the protests of the Society for the Preservation of Old Dwellings, the Orphan House and Chapel were demolished in 1953 and replaced by a Sears store.

For the next twenty-seven years, the Charleston Orphan House operated as an agency of the City of Charleston. In 1978 it became an independent non-profit organization known as Carolina Youth Development Center (CYDC), and continues to serve children through nine residential and outreach programs, continuing a 200 year legacy of care.

The Gunpowder Plot, 1605

“Remember, remember the fifth of November.” 

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Catholics in England had expected King James to be more tolerant of them. Unfortunately, he proved to be the opposite and ordered all Catholic priests to leave England. This angered a group of Catholics to the point that they decided to kill the king and put his daughter Elizabeth on the throne ensuring that she was a Catholic. Their plot included not only the assassination of James, but of everyone sitting in the Houses of Parliament on November 5 when the king opened Parliament.

At about midnight on the night of November 4-5, Sir Thomas Knyvet, a justice of the peace, found Guy Fawkes lurking in a cellar under the Parliament building and ordered the premises searched.

Parliament cellar where the gunpowder was discovered

Thirty-six barrels of gunpowder were found, and Fawkes was taken into custody. After being tortured, Fawkes revealed he was a participant in an English Catholic conspiracy to annihilate England’s Protestant government and replace it with Catholic leadership.

The other conspirators were:

Robert and Thomas Wintour,
Thomas Percy,
Christopher and John Wright,
Francis Tresham,
Everard Digby,
Ambrose Rookwood,
Thomas Bates,
Robert Keyes,
Hugh Owen,
John Grant (the man who is said to have organised the plot)
Robert Catesby.

The capture of Guy Fawkes by Henry Perronet Briggs

The capture of Guy Fawkes by Henry Perronet Briggs

The explosive expert, Guy Fawkes, had been left in the cellars to set off the fuse. Fawkes was arrested and sent to the Tower of London to be tortured and eventually gave away the names of the fellow conspirators. Sir William Wade, Lieutenant of the Tower, had orders to use whatever means of torture was required to get information from Fawkes. 

Of those involved, some were shot as they were chased by the law such as Percy and Catesby. Others were captured, sent to the Tower and, after a brief trial, they were hanged, drawn and quartered, at the Old Palace Yard on January 31, 1606. 

Execution of the conspirators of the Gunpowder Plot, including Guy Fawkes.

Execution of the conspirators of the Gunpowder Plot, including Guy Fawkes

In celebration of his survival, James ordered that the people of England should have a great bonfire in the night on November 5th. This fire was traditionally topped off with an effigy of the pope rather than Guy Fawkes. His place at the top of the fire came in later as did fireworks. The East Sussex county town of Lewes still has the pope alongside Guy Fawkes when it comes to the effigies being burned.

Old Palace Yard. TOP: Houses of Parliament before the 1834 fire. BOTTOM: Modern view the Old Palace Court, (photo by author)

Old Palace Yard.
TOP: Houses of Parliament before the 1834 fire. BOTTOM: Modern view the Old Palace Court, (photo by author)

Best X-Files Episodes

In anticipation of The X-Files mini-series coming to Fox TV in January of 2016, I decided to immerse myself into a binge watch of most of the important episodes. I was most surprised by how many of the episodes in Season 9 were really good. However, Seasons 3,4,5,and 6 were when this show was turning out a great episode week after week.

Dana Scully is smart, and hot hot hot! Monica Reyes is almost as hot hot hot. The Smoking Man is one the greatest characters ever on TV, and the Lone Gunmen were fabulous. And Mulder is Mulder.Here are my favorite episodes … in order in which they were broadcast. I gave up trying to rank them. I did make myself leave out another 15 episodes, however.

1. Humbug, Production Code: 2X20 (second season, 20th episode) Wacky and Weird.

humbugMulder and Scully travel to Gibsonton, Florida, a town built and populated by circus and sideshow performers to investigate the death of Jerald Glazebrook, The Alligator Man. While searching for leads on the killer, the agents come across many bizarre characters including the local sheriff who was once known as Jim Jim, the Dog-Faced Boy, Dr Blockhead who performs human feats of endurance and The Conundrum, a tattooed jigsaw man who eats live animals. Scully finds it difficult to find a normal suspect, in a place where nothing is normal.

2. Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose, Production Code: 3X04 Guest Star: Peter Boyle.Sad and smart.

x-files-clyde-bruckman-carMulder and Scully are called in to assist in an investigation of a killer who is targeting fortune tellers. The investigators have very little to go on and need all the help they can get. Clyde Bruckman, an insurance salesman, knows so many details about the crimes that Scully suspects he is the killer. Mulder however believes that Clyde Bruckman has psychic abilities and is divining the information that way. Peter Boyle as Bruckman is outstanding.

3. War of the Coprophages, Production Code: 3X12 Funny and weird.

screenshot76Mulder travels to Millers Grove, Massachusetts to investigate reports of UFO sightings in the area. It turns out that the town is suffering from a cockroach invasion, and that these cockroaches have been attacking and killing people. Mulder confers with Scully by phone, she is skeptical of killer cockroaches. In each case Scully has an explanation, the exterminator was allergic to cockroaches and died of anaphylactic shock, the teenage boy was using drugs and suffered from Ekbom Syndrome, a drug induced delusion of insects invading the body causing the sufferer to try to cut them out. And the medical examiner died of an aneurysm while on the toilet. Then Mulder catches one of the cockroaches and discovers it has a metal body.

4. Jose Chung’s From Outer Space, Production Code: 3X20 Funny and weird. 

screenshot12Guest Stars: Charles Nelson Reilly and Jess Ventura.

Fabulous … this may be the best episode of all! Funny and weird like a nightmare. Renowned writer Jose Chung, doing research for his book on alien abductions, interviews Dana Scully, who relates to him the case of a teenage couple, Chrissy Giorgio and Harold Lamb, who claim to have been abducted while on a date in Klass County. The only problem is, the victims and witnesses all have different versions of the events that took place. From Chrissy’s first belief that she had been a victim of date rape, to the re-appearance of Harold with his tale of alien abduction. Jesse Ventura as a Man In Black is a great cameo, and the casting of Charles Nelson Reilly is brilliant. But the scene with Mulder in the diner eating plate after plate of slices of pie is true magic.

Feels like the best lost episode of Twin Peaks.

5. Home, Production Code: 4X03: Monumentally CREEPY and disturbing!

the-x-files-home-138888A baby is found buried alive in shallow ground and appears to have birth defects resulting from generations of inbreeding, leading Mulder and Scully to a reclusive family who have a history of inbred children. You will also never listen to Johnny Mathis again and feel comfortable. Truly great!

This episode was so disturbing FOX only aired it on network TV twice.

6. Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man, Production Code: 4X07: Important and compelling.

A Lone Gunmen episode AND a Smoking Man episode all rolled into one! william-b-daviesAn important episode in the X-Files mythology.

Frohike (one of the Lone Gunmen) pieces together and recites to Mulder and Scully what could be the possible life story of the Cigarette Smoking Man; from a young captain in the US Army recruited to assassinate President Kennedy, to becoming the mysterious man in the shadows at the height of a global conspiracy. What measures will the SM take to ensure that he remains a mystery forever?

7. Small Potatoes, Production Code: 4X20: Hilarious and sweet.

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Five babies in the same town are all born with tails and the local OB-GYN is blamed for tampering with fertilised eggs. However, Mulder discovers the culprit to be a simple man with a genetic deformity who may have the ability to alter his appearance.

8. Unusual Suspects, Production Code: 5X01: Funny and Important.

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Funny as hell and important to the mythos. In this flashback episode, Mulder meets a straight-laced federal employee, a sex mad AV expert and a nerdy computer hacker who become known as the Lone Gunmen. They bond together to help Susanne Modeski, a strange woman with evidence of a government conspiracy. When their plan to expose the conspiracy fails and Susanne is captured by a group of men-in-black, they soon become a paranoid group of government watchdogs.

9. The Post-Modern Prometheus, Production Code: 5X06: Sweet, odd and sad.

Mulder-Scully-3-The-Post-Modern-Prometheus-3-mulder-and-scully

Filmed in glorious black and white with a comic book feel to it, this is a modern retelling of Frankenstein as Mulder and Scully get caught up in a town where the residents live on Jerry Springer episodes and fear a two-faced monster who has been impregnating the women.

10. Bad Blood, Production Code: 5X12: Funny and scary!

Guest star: Luke Wilson.

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Another episode that shows different people’s viewpoints of the same story. After Mulder chases down and kills a young man whom he believes to be a vampire, Scully realizes that his fangs are fake. The agents then return to DC, aware of the mistake they just made.

Faced with a lawsuit from the family of the man, they recount each of their sides to the story leading up to the event. Luke Wilson plays the sheriff with the hots for Scully, or maybe not, depending on who is telling the story.

11. Triangle, Production Code: 6X03. Exciting and Romantic

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Mulder goes to the Bermuda Triangle when he learns that the Queen Anne, a British luxury liner which disappeared during WWII, has re-appeared in the middle of the Sargasso Sea. Mulder’s boat is wrecked and after floating in the water, he is hauled aboard the ship which has just been hijacked by the Nazis searching for the man who will build the atom bomb. Mulder tries to convince the crew that they have traveled into the future but evidence further suggests that it is he, who is back in the past.

Mulder plants a REAL kiss on Scully in the time warp, knowing she will not remember in the real timeline.

12. Dreamland (1) Dreamland II (2), Production Code: 6X04. Mysterious and hilarious.

Guest star: Michael McKean.

dreamland One of the best! While being detained near the famed “Dreamland” Area 51, a strange craft flies overhead and Mulder swaps bodies with an Area 51 ‘Man-in-Black’. While the other agent has fun in Mulder’s body (seducing Skinner’s secretary and putting the moves on Scully), Mulder himself finds it difficult to fit into someone else’s life, especially a shadowy one. Mulder contacts Scully about the body-swap and tries to get her the Flight Data Recorder from the UFO test flight but his alter ego uses Mulder’s FBI persona to have him arrested.

Mulder is thrown in jail at the Area 51 compound but is released when it is discovered that the flight data recorder he stole was a fake. Scully comes to her senses and realizes that the Mulder she sees isn’t who he really is and heads back to Nevada to help the real Mulder. Meanwhile, the mechanism that caused the body swap is rapidly snapping back, undoing everything in its wake and Mulder and his alter ego must race to put themselves back where they belong.

13. Rain King, Production Code:6X07. Romantic, Sweet and funny. 

Guest Star: Victoria Jackson.

rain king Mulder persuades Scully to join him in an investigation in Kroner, Kansas after being asked by the local Mayor, who believes that the drought they have been suffering from for the past nine months is caused by Daryl Moots. Following an argument with his fiancee Shelia, Daryl lost his leg in a car accident six months earlier, ever since then he has been able to make it rain at will.

They go to Rain King Inc’s office and meet Daryl’s secretary, she cannot understand why Mulder and Scully are investigating Daryl who is just trying to help people.. Mulder and Scully go to a local farm where Daryl is due to make it rain. When Daryl arrives he claims not to know how he does it, but after a little dancing around, there is a clap of thunder and it starts to pour with rain. That night Mulder is nearly killed by a cow picked up by the wind and dropped in to his hotel room. Next morning Shelia claims to be responsible for the weather. Mulder doubts that she is the one controlling the weather but does believe that she is the key to the case as suspicions focus in on the local weatherman and his unrequited love for Shelia.

14. How The Ghosts Stole Christmas, Production Code: 6X08. Funny and creepy.

Guest Stars: Edward Asner and Lily Tomlin.

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Funny and creepy at the same time.Mulder talks Scully into investigating a haunted house on Christmas Eve where several couples have met their fate on that very night. While there they encounter endless tricks and traps set by a ghostly couple who originally made a lovers suicide pact in the house. The ghosts try to convince Mulder and Scully to kill each other.

15. Arcadia, Production Code: 6X13. Hilarious!

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In their first official case back on the X-Files, Mulder and Scully go undercover as a married couple at a prestigious planned community where several residents have recently disappeared after failing to comply with the rules and regulations.

A great comic gem.

16. The Unnatural, Production Code: 6X20. Intriguing and thought-provoking

Great! One of the best!

xfiles-the-unnatural-david-duchovny-005It is Saturday afternoon and Mulder is in the X-files basement office leafing through New Mexico newspaper obituaries from the 1940’s looking for anomalies, much to Scully’s dismay on such a beautiful afternoon. But Mulder stumbles across a newspaper picture of agent Arthur Dales with a Negro baseball player and the alien bounty hunter.

Ripping the page from the book, Mulder leaves the office and goes to Dales’ apartment, only to discover that Dales brother, also named Arthur has taken over the apartment. But when he shows the photo to Dales, it turns out that the photo is of him not his brother. In June 1947 Dales was a police office in Roswell, assigned to protect a Negro baseball star Josh Exley from membersof the Klu Klux Klan, bent on keeping baseball white.

Exley played for a Negro team called the Roswell Greys and had hit 60 home runs in the season matching Babe Ruth’s record, and so was being scouted for the major leagues. Only Exley does not want to play for the major leagues, he is quite content to stay where he is and play baseball for the Roswell Greys. Only Dale claims this was because Exley was actually a grey alien who had fallen in love with the game of baseball and that was the reason he did not want to play in the major leagues as reporters would dig in to his background and reveal the truth. A fear shared by Exley’s fellow aliens who send the alien bounty hunter to deal with the problem in his own unique fashion.

17. Improbable, Production Code: 9ABX14. Weird and slyly funny.

Guest Star: Burt Reynolds

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When Reyes uses numerology to connect the murders of several women to an obsessed serial killer, she and Scully become trapped with a mysterious checker-playing man who may or may not be the killer. The question then becomes who is going to be the next victim. Burt Reynolds is very effective as the checker-playing man who may (or may NOT) be Satan.

Rocks: My Life In and Out of Aerosmith: A Review

jp-1-editAll-in-all, a well done autobiography of Joe Perry. Gives you a pretty good behind-the-scenes of the formation of Aerosmith and it’s career, ups and downs.

As is almost the case of these books, it’s more about the personal life of Perry with not enough emphasis on the music-making process. The main drawback of these bios is the tediousness of the the drug addiction stories. At this point, we’ve read enough and heard enough about famous musicians’ demons, that, although, it is part of the story, it’s the most uninteresting part. Being told and illustrated that Steven Tyler is a self-centered douch-bag is also not breaking news.

However, the book is filled with dozens of great stories and nuggets that more than make the book worth reading. The revelation of the Lynyrd Skynyrd plane story was worth the entire book! 

4 palmettos